Muslim Parenting tips and principles

  

In Muslim parenting, it's our responsibility we use the madrasa the Malana sub mother but we can't blame we can't put all the blame on them they should do the best but we as parents have there is that if a child goes wrong at some level the parent has to be to blame.

 

So we have to deal with it, this is our cost this is our crop that we are told

to be responsible for that's why one of the principles I would say is that there should be nothing taboo that you can't discuss at home and you have to create that opening you have to ask the children what did they discuss? Did they discuss this that um is that ever a discussion you know do you hear weird things from your friends

What do you think about this We need to be abreast of this because all of this stuff is discussed foreign our dear organizers Allah be praised for allowing us to be here on

this evening and this is a very important topic.

 

So I uh about three years ago I wrote a book on marriage after being married for over 20 years and dealing with people's marriage issues for about 20 years I thought let's write a book because I think after 20 years I thought I was qualified to write a book about marriage now people are saying you need to write a book about bringing up children so what I'm waiting for I've got oh two children over 20 but I'm waiting for

them to get married and then be settled in marriage for at least two years then I can say

inshallah. I think that is the major our job as parents never ends but at least one of the major hurdles one of the biggest hurdles after all the small hurdles to get them to the right age and then to get them married and settled then I think a lot of people eventually sign up they eventually breathe a sight of relief foreign.

 

We should have the right things so that's what I'm waiting to do so I can write a book about bringing up children as well You have to be qualified to write this kind of thing so uh just like marriage bringing up children is very very complicated.

It's very difficult for any one person to discuss every single aspect that you could face when bringing up children because every family has a different Dynamic and environment some things are found in certain families and other things are not found in certain families some families have stable marital relationships and some don't have stable marital relationships some have extended families there are grandparents who are involved brothers and sisters uncles and aunts who are involved and in some cases, they're not involved all of this creates a different challenge sometimes we have

families that have a very very good system in their own house but their children they have relatives, who have a different ethos in their house. They're your own they're our own brothers or sisters children our own cousins but they have a slightly different culture in their homes they might be more strict they might be more liberal now it's very difficult to have your children so protected as such or in just one environment that you can't send them anywhere else because you're scared I've had so many cases I don't want to send them to my brother's house or my sister's house why because they let them play around without control.

 

For example, they're not as strict that's why it's so challenging and everybody's situation is different that's why I say that we should start praying to Allah in advance that Ya Allah always makes my surrounding environment of my own place my own home my own family and the people who are closest to me make that conducive for your love and for your faith because if that's not it becomes a bigger challenge the reason is that children when they are born and then they start learning.

 

They're like sponges they literally just take everything in some internalize it some ignore stuff others internalize and they will say something to you and others won't say anything but they will internalize it they process it in their brain anything that they see the way it works is that usually, children benefit from three main environments children as they grow up the reason I am what because I took from multiple environments multiple sources I'm not only what I learned from my parents I'm not only what I learned from my teachers I also learn from my Society I learn from people I visited I looked at people.

 I saw maybe television and social media in those days there was no social media but now there's social media everything I see creates a certain imprint certain impact a certain source of knowledge is provided I learned from Neighbors I learn from people in my community I learned from the children in the park I learned from the advertisements that I saw outside I learned from my school teacher and from my school colleagues Muslims and non-muslims these are all the different places and there's many many more before there was no social media now there is before everybody was quite.